The Moment I Realized No One Was Coming to Save Me…
It was in the middle of the COVID pandemic, a few months after my husband of 25 years had walked away from our 30-year relationship, when the truth hit me like a freight train.
Both my kids were home – one finishing her last semester of college online, the other wrapping up his senior year of high school – and life had this strange normalcy to it. But in a quiet moment between their virtual classes and my attempts to hold everything together, I finally stopped waiting. Stopped hoping he’d change his mind. Stopped believing he’d come back and say he was sorry. The brutal reality was staring me in the face: he had left and never looked back. No contact. Barely spoke to our kids. He was just… gone.
In that moment, the most terrifying thought of my life crashed over me: No one was coming to save me. It was up to me to save myself.
When Your Entire Identity Disappears Overnight
If you’ve been blindsided by divorce after decades of marriage, you know this feeling. One day you’re someone’s wife, building a life together, planning for retirement. The next day, you’re asking “Who am I now?” in the middle of the night when you can’t stay asleep.
I felt weak, shaky, and completely unprepared for this reality. How could I not be? I hadn’t worked in the corporate world in over 20 years. My career was obsolete. I’d never gotten my Master’s degree. For decades, I’d worked in his businesses, made decisions that were good for him and our kids, while putting my own dreams on the back burner.
The fury was overwhelming. At him, yes, but mostly at myself. How could I have been so careless with my own future? How could I have trusted so completely that this partnership would last forever? But, shouldn’t I have been able to trust my husband of 25 years?
I was 52 years old and felt like I was starting from zero. The identity I’d built my entire adult life around, wife & partner, had vanished. With our kids grown and leaving home, I was facing not just divorce, but a complete identity crisis.
The “Bubble Bath” Moment That Changed Everything
I did what everyone told me to do. I got into therapy immediately. For months, I talked and talked. I gained insight into what had happened, understood the patterns, could analyze it all perfectly, but I was still stuck in the same debilitating, obsessive thought loops. Why wasn’t I good enough? Why didn’t he love me enough? What did I do wrong? How can I live without him? I don’t want to live without him.
The breaking point came at the end of one therapy session when my therapist handed me a list of “self-care activities” to make me feel better. Number one on the list? “Take a bubble bath.”
I stared at that piece of paper and thought, “Seriously? A bubble bath is going to fix this?”
I was a smart woman dealing with trauma that was controlling my brain every night. I knew I needed much more than surface-level solutions. There had to be a way to control this crazy, debilitating thinking that was running and ruining my life.
Finding Real Solutions in an Unexpected Place
That’s when I started googling “divorce coaches” at 2 AM, desperate for something that would actually work. I spent hours researching different methodologies, determined not to fall into another “just think positive thoughts” scenario.
When I discovered Rapid Reprogramming™, I felt curious, but also skeptical. The neuroscience aspect intrigued me, but there was a “woo woo” element that made me question everything. If this was so effective, why wasn’t everyone using it? But maybe that was exactly the point. They weren’t using it because most people don’t know about it.
From the minute I started the program, something felt different. I started seeing the hidden beliefs and patterns that had been shaping my choices for years without me even realizing it. It was fascinating and, for the first time in months, I felt hopeful.
This wasn’t just talking about the problem. It was daily work that helped me shift how I thought, felt, and responded. Every time I practiced it, I felt stronger.
The Transformation I Didn’t See Coming
After about three sessions, I started feeling lighter. The constant tension in my shoulders began to ease. The obsessive thoughts that had been running on repeat started to quiet down. It was crazy.
I just kept digging in, and doing the work, because I could feel something fundamental shifting inside me. I wasn’t just managing my pain anymore. I was actually changing it.
By the time I completed the program, I knew with absolute certainty that this was what I wanted to do with my life. I wanted to learn this methodology at the deepest level and help other women who were walking this same devastating path. This was the answer and I needed to share it.
Why This Work Became My Calling
During my healing journey, I’d found an online support group for women whose husbands had suddenly left. We had so much in common and could support each other in ways no one else could understand. Because this isn’t “just getting divorced.” This is something none of us saw coming, and definitely didn’t want.
Most divorce support assumes mutual decisions or amicable separations. But sudden abandonment after decades of marriage? That’s a special kind of hell that requires special understanding.
I realized this proven methodology that actually works, needed to reach more women like us. Women who are lying awake at 3 AM wondering how they’re going to rebuild their lives.
Women who feel like they’re starting over from zero in their 50s and 60s. Women who’ve lost their identity and don’t know who they are anymore.
When my coach started a program to train others in her methodology, I signed up immediately.
What Real Recovery Looks Like
Now, when I work with clients, I see that same transformation I experienced. They go from barely holding it together to texting me things like “You saved me from myself” or hearing from their children, “We have our mom back.”
I watch them go from frozen and afraid to making plans for graduate school, starting new careers, or simply enjoying their own company for the first time in decades. They stop asking “Why wasn’t I good enough?” and start asking “What do I want my life to look like now?”
The truth I’ve learned, and what I help every client discover, is this:
The problem was never that he left.
It’s how he left that caused all the pain.
Once you understand that his choices were about his own pain and limitations, not about your worth, everything changes.
You Don’t Have to Do This Alone
If you’re reading this in the middle of the night, unable to sleep, wondering how you’re going to survive this, I want you to know that recovery isn’t just possible, it’s inevitable when you have the right tools.
You are not broken. You are not too old to start over. You are not defined by someone else’s inability to honor their commitments.
Your worth has never been up for debate. It’s your birthright. Your next chapter? That’s entirely up to you to write.
The woman you’ll be on the other side of this? She’s going to be someone you’re incredibly proud to be.
If you’re ready to stop surviving and start reclaiming your life, I’m here to walk beside you every step of the way. No woman should have to figure this out alone. Book a connection call today and let’s talk about what this looks like for you.
