Dealing with the upheaval of unexpected divorce after years of marriage is incredibly overwhelming and disorienting. It’s a sudden loss of identity. You lose your footing. Ask me how I know!
The shock of my spouse’s sudden departure from our family after our 25+ year relationship left me devastated. Nonfunctional. Plagued by apprehension, anxiety, and hopelessness. I was wrecked.
After months of depression and grief, I realized that the “it will get better with time.” advice was not happening for me! (I was actually told recovery would take one year for every 10 years that we were together, which would have been 3 years! Believe me – it doesn’t have to take that long.)
But I was caught in a cycle of obsessive thoughts and carried around an extreme fear of the future. After trying talk therapy, yoga, hiking, meditation and support groups, nothing helped. And will power had nothing to do with it – I needed a shift on a deeper level.
Eventually, I discovered subconscious reprogramming and somatic techniques which initiated the change that I desperately needed.
We carry so many stories from our childhood that make us believe things like, “I’m worthless” or “who I am isn’t good enough.” When your spouse leaves you, all of those stories activate and get CONFIRMED. Then those beliefs get permission to run the show, and it flatlines you. The only way through is to question every single one of those beliefs, and prove to yourself that they are not true.
But you can’t do this through just your conscious mind. The stories are deeper than that.
This work begins by identifying, then questioning these programmed stories that your body and brain believe to be true (and didn’t your spouse just offer more proof?!). These stories trigger thoughts, emotions, and reactions – and they cause you to get caught in thought loops and shame spirals.
Through the Rapid Reprogramming framework that met both mind and body, I was able to rewire my beliefs and release the pain I was carrying, calm my nervous system, and shift the patterns that were keeping me frozen in place.
This is when I began to see my life as my own. That my life was about ME now! I could focus on what I wanted – where to spend my time, energy, and money. Who I wanted to become, now that decisions didn’t require negotiation or compromise.
The triggers (seeing past photos on social media, receiving a text from the ex out of the blue, going to our old favorite restaurant) began to lose their grip. I could watch Rom-Coms again! Mutual friends could talk about him, or run into him, and I had control over how I responded. He became someone I used to know.
This is when I began to see my life as my own. That my life was about ME now! I could focus on what I wanted – where to spend my time, energy, and money. Who I wanted to become, now that decisions didn’t require negotiation or compromise.
I promise: As you do this work, taking the terrifying steps becomes easier. You’ll stop second-guessing and start making decisions you’re excited about.
No one understands what you are going through unless they have experienced it themselves. Together, we will cut through the triggers, release the shame, and empower you to take control of what comes next. This isn’t about erasing the past; it is about writing the next chapters with strength and intention.
Today, I live in Arizona where the mountains and desert are a constant reminder that strength and beauty go hand-in-hand. My life is rooted in calm, clarity, and trusting myself. I’m no longer just surviving or bracing for the next blow. I’m actually leading my life with intention.
These days you will find me engaged in community, digging in the garden, or hanging out with my kids, who are grown now and still the best thing in my life. I’ve also found an amazing group of women who, like me, have rebuilt their lives and come back stronger, more complete, and proud of who they are.
Dealing with the upheaval of unexpected divorce after years of marriage is incredibly overwhelming and disorienting. It’s a sudden loss of identity. You lose your footing.
You are not alone. You are among many women looking for a way to leave the pain of what happened behind you and reclaim your life.
I am here to help you reclaim your voice, your worth, and your sense of possibility. Life can, and will, feel meaningful and exciting again.
